GOD'S MARRIAGE LAW
by Fay Bouknight
Bishop David and Prosy Turyahebwa, Mbarara, Uganda
Mark 10:11-12 “And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.”
Who Created Marriage?
Genesis 1:27 “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him: male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.”
Genesis 2:21-24 “And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. (Also see Mark 10:6-8)
What Are These Scriptures Telling Us?
(1) That God created man.
(2) Man and Woman were created in the image of God. (We talk, listen, have a mine to think and make decisions, be happy, cry, etc.)
(2) God blessed them.
(3) He told them to be fruitful and multiply (to have children).
(4) They were to rule over every living thing that moved upon the earth.
When and How Was God’s Marriage Law Created?
*Note: God created Adam and Eve to make their own decisions right from the very beginning. The fall of man was due to them making the wrong decision. They disobeyed God and ate of a forbidden fruit. It was their choice to choose right from wrong.
1. God took a rib from Adam as he slept and made a woman out of the rib.
2. Her name is Woman because she was taken out of man.
3. God brought her (Eve) personally, Himself, to Adam. She did not say, no, she did not refuse to go with God to Adam. She accepted Adam.
4. Adam said she now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. (By him saying this, he acknowledged that they were now one.) Adam accepted her. He could have said, no, I don’t want her, but he did not.
5. By their acceptance, this was a covenant between them and God.
6. This was the first creation of marriage between a man and a woman.
7. This also lets you know that every marriage thereafter, God is involved. You may not see Him but He is there. God is everywhere. He hears your covenants to each other.
8. Therefore, because of what just happened you leave mother and father and cleave to each other. (You stick to each other, you cling to each other.)
9. They shall be one flesh (not may be, not might be, but shall be one flesh).
10. So, the law of marriage was created in the very beginning between a man and a woman.
NO more 2 but 1 flesh
Mark 10:6-8 “But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave (stick, cling, conjoin, hold on) to his wife: And they twain (2 people) shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain (no more 2 people), but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”
Men Love Your Wives because she is your flesh – you are one
Ephesians 5:28 “So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. H that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it. Even as the Lord the church:”
Husband and wife you no longer have power of your own body
1 Corinthians 7:3-5 “Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer: and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.”
1. This is speaking about sexual relations. You no longer own your own body. Someone else does. However in love and respect to each other – and non-demanding. To be demanding is evil and without love. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations.
Let No Man Put Asunder (do away with your marriage)
“What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder”. What does that word asunder mean? Asunder: in twain, in two, in halves, in bits, in pieces, apart. The laws of the land requires you to get a license, you must have someone such as a minister to conduct the ceremony, but you should know that a person cannot create one flesh only God can create the miracle of marriage. Your covenant before God joined 2 people to be one flesh by a supernatural divine law of marriage. God, not Pastor David, not a judge, not anybody but God. Your part was your acceptance of each other. (This was your covenant to each other.)
Men and Women who are out there breaking up marriages. You will be held accountable. Let no man break up a marriage (or woman).
Note: Moikeia (Greek) for adultery: Wilful violation of marriage covenant, sexual relations outside of your marriage or lusting of same. Romans 13:9 “Thou shall not commit adultery.”
Note: Porneia (Greek) for Fornication: someone unmarried having sexual relations.
Bound by the Law
1 Corinthians 7:39 “The wife is bound (required, obligated) by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.”
Romans 7:2-3 “For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be carried to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law.” (Law of Marriage)
This is talking about a specific law here because it is talking about a law that concerns a husband and a wife – a marriage. The Law of Marriage.
1. Scriptures tell us, you cannot have a spouse that has a living husband or wife. They are considered someone else’s husband or wife.
2. John the Baptist preached have your own spouse, not someone else’s.
3. Mark 6:17 “For Herod himself had sent forth and laid hold upon John and bound him in prison for Herodias sake, his brother Philip’s wife; for he had married her. For John had said unto Herod, It is not lawful for thee to have thy brother’s wife.”
*These scriptures are telling us:
1. That John the Baptist preached the truth no matter what.
2. That God even acknowledges a sinner’s marriage.
3. The King had married Herodias.
4. She was his brother’s wife. His brother was named Philip.
*When you were sinners and you were married, God still acknowledges your marriage. Salvation doesn’t make a marriage.
*Only a covenant between male and female before God.
What can separate a wife from her husband? Death!
1. How long are you bound to this law of marriage?
2. As long as the husband lives, you are required to be the wife as long as both of you live.
3. If your husband dies, this breaks the one flesh that you had with your husband. You are loosed from him.
4. You may then marry whom you will only in the Lord.
5. Only in the Lord?
6. Many marriages are not acknowledged by God because they have other living spouses. You may not marry someone
who has a living spouse. You cannot take someone else’s husband or wife. You must have only your own. Also it is good to marry another Christian.
7. Many marriages break up because they did not pray and seek the Lord for guidance. However, you may regret it, but it’s done.
Men – What About You?
Exodus 20:14 “Thou shalt not commit adultery”. Notice this is a command, shall not means no variation of yes. It means NO.
Mark 10:11-12 “And he saith unto them. Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.”
Luke 16:18 (says same thing). We have 2 writers saying same thing (Mark and Luke)
Mark 10:9-12 “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter. And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.”
1. You shall not commit adultery.
2. Men, if you put away (means divorce) your wife and you marry someone else, you are committing adultery against her.
3. Women, if you put away your husband (divorce him) and you marry someone else, you are committing adultery against him.
4. You will notice his disciples was inquiring about marriage. He taught them about the law of marriage.
What is Adultery? Moikeia (Greek) for adultery: Wilful violation of marriage covenant, sexual relations outside of your marriage.
You commit adultery when you are married to someone and you have sexual relations with someone other than your wife OR/AND you are married and you divorce your spouse and marry another person. This is called committing adultery against your spouse (whether male or female)
God is upset with Israel and Judah because of the way they are treating their wives.
Malachi 2:13: “And this have ye done again, covering the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth it with good will at your hand.”
Why Did He say this?
Malachi 2:14 “Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed, Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.”
God hates divorce!
Malachi 2:16 “For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away (Divorce): for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the Lord of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.”
What is God saying?
1. He was a witness in the marriage.
2. She is his companion
3. She is the wife of his covenant
4. I made two 2 people 1 flesh
5. He sought a godly seed
6. Do not deal treacherously against your wife (do not put her away)
7. I hate divorce
8. Guard yourself in the spirit and be faithful to your wife.
9. They are crying because God does not regard their offering. They say why not? Because of the way you did your wife. It is cruel to be unfaithful to your wife.
Even though God hates divorce – does he ever allow separation?
1 Corinthians 7:10-11 “And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife”.
1. He is telling you not to divorce because we know now He hates divorce.
2. But if husband or wife do part, or they separate, remain unmarried because you already have a one-flesh spouse.
3. If you were to remarry, how can you be reconciled to each other?
4. Go back to each other.
5. Forgive whatever caused the split. Jesus came to save and to forgive. We must also.
What if I am a Christian and my spouse is not?
1 Corinthians 7:12-14 “But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean: but now are they holy.”
1. If you are a Christian but your husband or your wife is not. Stay with them. You are not sinning to live with a spouse that is not a Christian.
Vs. 16 “For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? Or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
2. Be an example for your spouse. You might just win them over to the Lord.
Vs. 15 “But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart (leave). A brother or a sister is not under bondage (burden) in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.”
1. This is saying, don’t argue, do not live with fighting or bickering all the time. If the non-Christian spouse wants to leave, let them go.
2. You are still one flesh until death parts you. Let’s not forget all the scriptures.
3. Remember, the only way out of a marriage is death. The spouse is bound by the law so long as they live. This will never change.
4. Many people misinterpret this to believe they are okay to let the person go and marry again which is sad because they are throwing out all the rest of the scriptures on the Law of Marriage and they are also putting more words in this scripture than it says.
5. They are not correctly dividing the word of God.
6. Remember all the piece must fit together to make the entire picture of marriage.
7. Does the scripture say that? Absolutely not.
8. God has already laid down His laws of marriage and we must all abide by them as Christians. This is not just a marriage law for a particular nation, but all nations.
What the O.T. says about marriage vs. the N.T.
Matthew Chapter 19 tells us that Jesus went up to Galilee and great multitudes followed him. The Pharisees who were constantly questioning Jesus and trying to trick him said this:
Matthew 19:3 “The Pharisees also came unto him tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?”
1. In other words, if my wife displeases me in any way, can I divorce her?
Taking a scripture and making a new marriage law?
1. Must all scriptures fit? This scripture is a prime example of that.
2. So far we have most of the picture. Do you see it coming together?
3. Put on your spiritual eyes because if you are in the flesh – you might try to change this one to fit your lifestyle.
4. The book of Matthew is mainly written to the Jews. The Pharisees were constantly trying to trick Jesus. They had specific customs and traditions and it seemed constantly were asking Him questions and right and wrong.
5. The 2 scriptures we will be talking about matters as to what translation you are reading from because most of them have changed the meaning regarding these particular scriptures. The Authorized King James Version has it right.
6. I bought a bible recently that said it was the KJV and that nothing had been changed. However, it was changed in the particular scripture we will be reading. A totally new doctrine was created from man regarding this scripture.
Matthew 19:4-6 “And he answered and said unto them. Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female. And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”
Vs. 7 “They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?”
Matthew 19:8-9 “He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: for from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.”
1 Corinthians 7:2 “Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.”
1. Why would Moses tell them to do something that was wrong? Jesus said it was because they would not listen to the truth. Was it right for Moses to do that? No it was not. He was in error because Jesus said it was. He said Moses allowed you to do it but from the time of the first marriage I created, it was wrong for this to happen. They had grown cold and indifferent to the word of God. It is referred to as the Mosaic Law.
2. He could divorce her for any reason and she could never return.
3. Deuteronomy 24:1-4 are the scriptures the Pharisees are pertaining to.
4. Remember, Jesus said this was wrong from the very beginning.
The Old Testament scriptures – a woman can never return to husband
1. God has also proven this is also in error which Moses allowed.
2. Jeremiah 3:1 says this: “They say, If a man put away his wife, and she go from him, and become another man’s, shall he return unto her again? Shall not that land be greatly polluted? But thou hast played the harlot with many lovers; yet return again to me, saith the Lord.” Jesus is saying, yes, she can return unto her husband. Did you not be a harlot with many lovers (meaning disowning God and become an idle worshiper). Jesus corrected the Pharisees and said, although Moses allowed you to do this, this is not correct, this is wrong. You shall not put away your wife and marry another as long as she lives.”
3. He said they had polluted the land with their whoredoms and with wickedness.
4. Mark 10:5 “And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife: And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter. And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife and marry another committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.”
Here is the scripture many get wrong and make a whole new marriage law of their own.
Matthew 5:31-32 “It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery”
1 Corinthians 6:16 “ What? Know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? For two, saith he, shall be one flesh.”
1. There are no grounds for divorce and remarriage.
2. They were stoned to death – so no need for divorce
3. Only ground is fornication and that is someone who has never married in the first place.
4. The woman caught in adultery in the Old Testament was going to be stoned but Jesus told her to go and sin no more.
Now you will notice these are the only scriptures that pertains to an exception.
1. What in the world does it mean? Because it seems not to fit with the overwhelming number of scriptures on marriage.
2. The reason is because it is fornication and not adultery.
3. These 2 scriptures are pertaining to 2 different groups of people. One – married and the other single – never been married.
4. It pertains to adultery and fornication.
5. “Except it be for fornication
6. Fornication is a single person having sexual relations. In other words back in those days for the Jews – the tradition was to be engaged for a period of time. Even though they called it married, they were actually betrothed to each other. They were not married and had not had sex.
7. However, the Lord is saying single person, if you go and have sexual relations with someone before you marry them you may break your engagement (your betrothal), you may divorce them. You may leave them. It was literally called divorce.
8. Study the history of Jewish marriage. Then you can better understand these 2 scriptures.
9. However, we must take these 2 scriptures and place them with the other scriptures to make up the entire picture of God’s Marriage Law. His marriage law is based on His Word. It says until death, not until adultery or any other reason.
10. Even though they were just engaged.
11. Fornication cannot be grounds for divorce. Because they were not married before God in the first place and had no marriage covenant with each other.
A Case of betrothal and not marriage but yet they were called married in those days
Read Genesis Chapters 19:8 and 19:14: Lot spoke of his daughters that knew no man (had not had sexual relations and also referred to the ones engaged to them as sons-in-law. He only took his wife and 2 daughters out of Sodom. They were only engaged. Again this was a tradition of betrothal even in Jesus’ day.
Let’s consider Joseph and Mary
Matthew 1:18-20 “Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost. Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her public example, was minded to put her away privately. But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost”.
Vss 24-25 “Then Joseph being raised from sleep did as the angel of the Lord had bidden him, and took unto him his wife: And knew her not till she had brought forth her firstborn son: and he called his name JESUS.”
Sexual relations does not make a marriage. If you married and never had sexual relations, you would still be married in God’s eyes. If that were the case when Mary and Joseph were married really married, he did not touch her until the birth of Jesus, but the Bible says they were still married.
What are these scriptures telling us?
1. Mary was espoused (engaged) to Joseph. They were not yet married.
2. Before they were married, she was going to have a baby (JESUS) of the Holy Ghost.
3. Before the angel appeared to Joseph, he was going to break the engagement.
4. He was going to divorce her (break the engagement) without anyone knowing about it, put her away (even though they were not yet married.
5. But the angel appeared to him in a dream and said don’t be afraid to marry your wife (you will notice the angel called Mary his wife, even though they were only espoused (engaged)).
6. She has not been with a man. That conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost.
7. Then he did as the angel had said for him to do. He married his wife.
8. He did not have sexual relations with her until she gave birth to Jesus but she was still his wife.
These scriptures tell us several things
1. Having sexual relations does not make a marriage. Remember Joseph married Mary, however, he waited until the birth of Jesus to have sexual relations with her.
2. They were betrothed (engaged to be married) but the scriptures refer to them as a husband and wife yet before they were married.
*Remember I told you it was a custom, a tradition to be called a wife or a husband even though they actually were not married yet.
Changed the Word of God
1. Many Bible translators have actually changed the word “fornication” to sexual activity or adultery. Look how one word can change an entire scripture. The word of God is changed into a lie. To believe this lie, one would have to throw the rest of the scriptures concerning marriage into the trash and unfortunately this is what even many Christians have done.
Leave you with these truths:
*Adultery has never been a cause to put your wife or husband away and marry someone else.
*Women and sometimes even men were stoned who committed adultery. They never lived to remarry.
*The woman caught in adultery in the Bible was going to be stoned but Jesus stopped it and told her to go and sin no more. (John 8:-11.
*Who will not inherit the Kingdom of Heaven?
*1 Corinthians 6:9-30 V.9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, not effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind.”
*You may not have sexual relations before marriage and inherit the kingdom of God. You may not commit adultery against your spouse and inherit the kingdom of God. If you do commit this sin, you must ask God to forgive you and he will but then you must go and sin no more.
*Remember Adultery and Fornication are different pertaining to this study.
*Many translations have changed fornication to adultery such as marital unfaithfulness.
*If my spouse should die and I remarry, who will be my wife in heaven? No one
*Matthew 12:25: “For when they shall rise from the dead, they neither marry, nor are given in marriage.”
*Malachi 2:14 – She is the wife of your covenant.
*Proverbs 18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue. Be careful what you covenant
*When you make a covenant before God make sure you keep it.
*Matthew 5:28 “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart”.
*Proverbs 6:32 “But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul”.
*What is a covenant? A covenant in marriage is an agreement between 2 people before God.
*Malachi 2:14 – She is the wife of your covenant.
*When you make a covenant before God make sure you keep it.
*Galatians 5:19 “Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness.”
*If you separate or divorce, try to get back together because this is what God wants.
*In Hosea ( Read Hosea) the Bible says he was married to Gomer and she was a harlot, she left him for other men, but Hosea loved her and wanted her to come back to him and she did. God told him to take her back.
*The same with Israel and Judah, after they turned their backs on God and played the harlot, he wanted them to come back to him. Read Jeremiah 3 God pleads for his wife to return to him.
May God Bless Our Brothers and Sisters in Uganda!
By Fay Bouknight – Scriptures from KJV