Who is Married in God's Sight?
by: Judith Brumbaugh, Founder Restoration Of The Family, Inc.
www.RestorationOfTheFamily.org
If you’re not saved when you get married does God consider you married? There is a loud resounding, “Yes,” to this question. A person’s salvation does not determine the validity of a marriage. The validity of a marriages lies only within a covenant that God and only God makes when two people, whether they are saved or lost, take those familiar wedding vows: “I take thee ____ to be my wedded husband/wife until death we do part.”
None of us really understand how it is that the LORD supernaturally, invisibly, permanently joins a man and woman; that is, how He makes two people one flesh. However, we do know from the Scriptures that “What therefore God hath joined together” is always the same: one man and one woman, neither of whom has a living one-flesh spouse and that this joining is until the death of one of the spouses to God’s marriage-covenant. Furthermore, man is not to put apart what God has joined.
“What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Mark 10:9).
It’s called repentance.
All people should be saved; however, we know that not all people choose to follow the LORD. Even so, God’s laws apply equally to both the saved and lost; whether or not they are physical such as with the law of gravity or spiritual, such as God’s law of marriage. When a saved person chooses to answer the call of the LORD upon His life, he comes to an understanding that the Bible is His guidebook; and from the Holy Scriptures, he learns how abhorrent sin is to God and that God expects all of His followers to turn from sin. That is called repentance.
Sometimes there’s a misunderstanding about repentance. Forms of the word repent are used more than 100 times in the Bible. There are also untold numbers of passages that talk about repentance. Very simply put, it means that you stop doing what God says is sin, as recorded through His Scriptures. Consider the following Scriptures that highlight some important precepts which apply to all repentance. The first clearly gives two aspects of repentance: (1) recognize sin by confessing it and (2) forsake sin. If we do not forsake (turn from, stop practicing) lifestyle sins we shall perish; that is, we will not enter the Kingdom of Heaven. When our heart is right regarding sin, it will not grieve us to turn from sin.
“He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy” (Proverbs 28:13).
“I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish” (Luke 13:3).
“For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous” (1 John 5:3).
“Now I rejoice, not that ye were made sorry, but that ye sorrowed to repentance: for ye were made sorry after a godly manner, that ye might receive damage by us in nothing. For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death” (2 Corinthians 7:9-10).
If we truly repent, we will not return to the practice of what God calls sin. Many say, “But I didn’t understand it was sin before I was saved.” That’s true of every born-again believer. There were many sins that we all practiced that we didn’t know violated God’s commandments. That’s what sanctification and growing in the LORD is all about. We grow in the knowledge of what is and is not sin by studying the Scriptures and listening to Bible-based teachings. We love the LORD and His ways and learn to abhor our selfish, wrongful desires. When we learn from the Scriptures what offends God, then we know, as a saved person, that we are to have nothing to do with sin; or as I John 5:3 states, “For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous.”
Danger . . . to study is not a suggestion!
A weakness in most peoples’ lives is that they do not seriously study the Word of God. Even many, who attend church every week, rarely open the Bible at home and study what God teaches. The danger here lies in the fact that a pastor MIGHT not preach what God says. He may be swayed by wrong teachings he has received or may misinterpret the Scriptures. That’s why God holds every person accountable to study the Word for himself so that he will hopefully rightly interpret the words that are written in the Bible:
“Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth” (2 Timothy 2:15).
To study as a workman is not a suggestion; it is a command. It’s our lifeline to the Kingdom of God.
Now let’s look at some real life issues. What if I stole a car before I was saved? Does that car, in God’s sight, become mine because I somehow felt it was ok to steal before I was saved? No, the car must be returned—assuming I still have the car. What if I incurred a lot of debt before I was saved? Does my being saved change my responsibility to contracts I signed before I was saved? No, being saved does not abolish former obligations—unless—and I emphasize UNLESS those agreements were illegal and/or violate God’s commandments.
This brings us back to the beginning of this article—does God hold us accountable for a marriage into which we entered when we were not saved?
Marriage is until death parts us—saved or unsaved.
First, we must understand that marriage is NOT a contract made by man which he can dissolve. Marriage is a God-created covenant and only upon physical death does God dissolve this union. Additionally, nowhere is there an exception telling us that God does not join unsaved people. The Bible lets us know that God recognizes unsaved peoples’ marriages throughout both Old and New Testament Scriptures: Abimelech and his wife (Genesis 20:17); Cain and his wife (Genesis 4:17) Jezebel and her husband (I Kings 16:31); Potiphar and his wife (Genesis 39:9); Pilate and his wife (Matthew 27:19), etc. And let us not overlook an “adulterous marriage” which God did not recognize as a covenant-marriage. His favored servant John the Baptist was murdered because he told Herod and Herodias that their “marriage” relationship was unlawful—it was adultery. That’s because Herod and Herodias each had a living one-flesh spouse from whom they had separated (divorced). See Mark 6:17-18. It’s impossible for God to create multiple marriage “joinings” among the same two living persons. Such an act would be sin on His part. It’s only man, outside of God’s law of marriage, who creates what all New Testament Scriptures clearly teach are adulterous (man-made) “joinings.”
“Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery” (Luke 16:18). Notice it’s not the putting away that creates an on-going state of adultery, but “and marrieth” another.” Although, it is also an act of adultery for a married person to lust after someone not his/her one-flesh spouse.
“For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man” (Romans 7:2-3).
This brings us to a misapplication of Scriptures. Some wrongly believe that if they were not saved when they got married and if that marriage ends in a civil divorce that they are free to marry someone else when they get saved. Think about the confusion and mess if lost married peoples’ marriages were no longer valid once they got saved. All married lost people would be living in sexual sin. Newly saved married couples would have to get married to each other, and their children, born before they become saved, would have been born out of wedlock. That we know is not true.
Again, God’s joining of a man and woman is not dependent upon those persons’ salvation—although they should be saved before they get married. One of the advantages of becoming saved is that the two previously lost people, now that they are saved, should be able to learn to love each other with the love of the LORD. That’s with what believers are empowered. They overcome sin and look to the LORD for strength to live godly and righteously in this world:
“For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men, Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world” (Titus 2:11-12).
“He that overcometh, the same shall be clothed in white raiment; and I will not blot out his name out of the book of life, but I will confess his name before my Father, and before his angels” (Revelation 3:5).
If you have questions or would like additional materials on God’s perspective on marriage, go to our website: www.RestorationOfTheFamily.org to email us, or read additional teachings on the topic of marriage on our website.
About the Author
Author, Judith Brumbaugh is Founder and president of Restoration Of The Family through which she has ministered to families world-wide. The focus of most of her writings, God’s perspective on marriage, has been taught to her not only by the Holy Spirit but also through God’s providential circumstances. This started when her husband left their home because he preferred the companionship of other women. When asked to sign a divorce decree that said she was no longer married, Judith refused and was evicted from her home, having to leave her children and the family assets with her husband. With much pain and agony, she chose to uphold God’s standard to “let not man put asunder” (Mark 10:9) and began an eight-year process of writing her own legal briefs to defend the permanence of marriage, both from a religious and constitutional point of view, as she documented legal precedents to show that such a man-made decree violated not only God’s law but also the U.S. Constitution.
Through these many “life experiences” one thing that Judith has learned is the Biblical application of unconditional love. Never did her love for her husband wane; it only solidified and grew stronger. It’s a love that many do not understand but can be studied through the Word of God and where it is championed in deep descriptive analogies called “charity” in I Corinthians 13:
“Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing. Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away. When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.”
www.RestorationOfTheFamily.org
If you’re not saved when you get married does God consider you married? There is a loud resounding, “Yes,” to this question. A person’s salvation does not determine the validity of a marriage. The validity of a marriages lies only within a covenant that God and only God makes when two people, whether they are saved or lost, take those familiar wedding vows: “I take thee ____ to be my wedded husband/wife until death we do part.”
None of us really understand how it is that the LORD supernaturally, invisibly, permanently joins a man and woman; that is, how He makes two people one flesh. However, we do know from the Scriptures that “What therefore God hath joined together” is always the same: one man and one woman, neither of whom has a living one-flesh spouse and that this joining is until the death of one of the spouses to God’s marriage-covenant. Furthermore, man is not to put apart what God has joined.
“What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Mark 10:9).
It’s called repentance.
All people should be saved; however, we know that not all people choose to follow the LORD. Even so, God’s laws apply equally to both the saved and lost; whether or not they are physical such as with the law of gravity or spiritual, such as God’s law of marriage. When a saved person chooses to answer the call of the LORD upon His life, he comes to an understanding that the Bible is His guidebook; and from the Holy Scriptures, he learns how abhorrent sin is to God and that God expects all of His followers to turn from sin. That is called repentance.
Sometimes there’s a misunderstanding about repentance. Forms of the word repent are used more than 100 times in the Bible. There are also untold numbers of passages that talk about repentance. Very simply put, it means that you stop doing what God says is sin, as recorded through His Scriptures. Consider the following Scriptures that highlight some important precepts which apply to all repentance. The first clearly gives two aspects of repentance: (1) recognize sin by confessing it and (2) forsake sin. If we do not forsake (turn from, stop practicing) lifestyle sins we shall perish; that is, we will not enter the Kingdom of Heaven. When our heart is right regarding sin, it will not grieve us to turn from sin.
“He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy” (Proverbs 28:13).
“I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish” (Luke 13:3).
“For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous” (1 John 5:3).
“Now I rejoice, not that ye were made sorry, but that ye sorrowed to repentance: for ye were made sorry after a godly manner, that ye might receive damage by us in nothing. For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death” (2 Corinthians 7:9-10).
If we truly repent, we will not return to the practice of what God calls sin. Many say, “But I didn’t understand it was sin before I was saved.” That’s true of every born-again believer. There were many sins that we all practiced that we didn’t know violated God’s commandments. That’s what sanctification and growing in the LORD is all about. We grow in the knowledge of what is and is not sin by studying the Scriptures and listening to Bible-based teachings. We love the LORD and His ways and learn to abhor our selfish, wrongful desires. When we learn from the Scriptures what offends God, then we know, as a saved person, that we are to have nothing to do with sin; or as I John 5:3 states, “For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous.”
Danger . . . to study is not a suggestion!
A weakness in most peoples’ lives is that they do not seriously study the Word of God. Even many, who attend church every week, rarely open the Bible at home and study what God teaches. The danger here lies in the fact that a pastor MIGHT not preach what God says. He may be swayed by wrong teachings he has received or may misinterpret the Scriptures. That’s why God holds every person accountable to study the Word for himself so that he will hopefully rightly interpret the words that are written in the Bible:
“Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth” (2 Timothy 2:15).
To study as a workman is not a suggestion; it is a command. It’s our lifeline to the Kingdom of God.
Now let’s look at some real life issues. What if I stole a car before I was saved? Does that car, in God’s sight, become mine because I somehow felt it was ok to steal before I was saved? No, the car must be returned—assuming I still have the car. What if I incurred a lot of debt before I was saved? Does my being saved change my responsibility to contracts I signed before I was saved? No, being saved does not abolish former obligations—unless—and I emphasize UNLESS those agreements were illegal and/or violate God’s commandments.
This brings us back to the beginning of this article—does God hold us accountable for a marriage into which we entered when we were not saved?
Marriage is until death parts us—saved or unsaved.
First, we must understand that marriage is NOT a contract made by man which he can dissolve. Marriage is a God-created covenant and only upon physical death does God dissolve this union. Additionally, nowhere is there an exception telling us that God does not join unsaved people. The Bible lets us know that God recognizes unsaved peoples’ marriages throughout both Old and New Testament Scriptures: Abimelech and his wife (Genesis 20:17); Cain and his wife (Genesis 4:17) Jezebel and her husband (I Kings 16:31); Potiphar and his wife (Genesis 39:9); Pilate and his wife (Matthew 27:19), etc. And let us not overlook an “adulterous marriage” which God did not recognize as a covenant-marriage. His favored servant John the Baptist was murdered because he told Herod and Herodias that their “marriage” relationship was unlawful—it was adultery. That’s because Herod and Herodias each had a living one-flesh spouse from whom they had separated (divorced). See Mark 6:17-18. It’s impossible for God to create multiple marriage “joinings” among the same two living persons. Such an act would be sin on His part. It’s only man, outside of God’s law of marriage, who creates what all New Testament Scriptures clearly teach are adulterous (man-made) “joinings.”
“Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery” (Luke 16:18). Notice it’s not the putting away that creates an on-going state of adultery, but “and marrieth” another.” Although, it is also an act of adultery for a married person to lust after someone not his/her one-flesh spouse.
“For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man” (Romans 7:2-3).
This brings us to a misapplication of Scriptures. Some wrongly believe that if they were not saved when they got married and if that marriage ends in a civil divorce that they are free to marry someone else when they get saved. Think about the confusion and mess if lost married peoples’ marriages were no longer valid once they got saved. All married lost people would be living in sexual sin. Newly saved married couples would have to get married to each other, and their children, born before they become saved, would have been born out of wedlock. That we know is not true.
Again, God’s joining of a man and woman is not dependent upon those persons’ salvation—although they should be saved before they get married. One of the advantages of becoming saved is that the two previously lost people, now that they are saved, should be able to learn to love each other with the love of the LORD. That’s with what believers are empowered. They overcome sin and look to the LORD for strength to live godly and righteously in this world:
“For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men, Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world” (Titus 2:11-12).
“He that overcometh, the same shall be clothed in white raiment; and I will not blot out his name out of the book of life, but I will confess his name before my Father, and before his angels” (Revelation 3:5).
If you have questions or would like additional materials on God’s perspective on marriage, go to our website: www.RestorationOfTheFamily.org to email us, or read additional teachings on the topic of marriage on our website.
About the Author
Author, Judith Brumbaugh is Founder and president of Restoration Of The Family through which she has ministered to families world-wide. The focus of most of her writings, God’s perspective on marriage, has been taught to her not only by the Holy Spirit but also through God’s providential circumstances. This started when her husband left their home because he preferred the companionship of other women. When asked to sign a divorce decree that said she was no longer married, Judith refused and was evicted from her home, having to leave her children and the family assets with her husband. With much pain and agony, she chose to uphold God’s standard to “let not man put asunder” (Mark 10:9) and began an eight-year process of writing her own legal briefs to defend the permanence of marriage, both from a religious and constitutional point of view, as she documented legal precedents to show that such a man-made decree violated not only God’s law but also the U.S. Constitution.
Through these many “life experiences” one thing that Judith has learned is the Biblical application of unconditional love. Never did her love for her husband wane; it only solidified and grew stronger. It’s a love that many do not understand but can be studied through the Word of God and where it is championed in deep descriptive analogies called “charity” in I Corinthians 13:
“Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing. Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away. When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.”